Wowwwweeeee kids. After one of the most delicious meals of my life last night I feel compelled to post a photographic tutorial of how to cook the delight that I ate.

For your salivation it was: A sprout and kale risotto topped with roasted chicken thighs. Trust me, amazing stuff. Lovely step-by-step picture tutorial will be posted shortly as hot-damn it is a tasty meal!

My room is well overdue for a redecoration with tired, old looking paint on the walls. Whilst thinking about what colour I would like to paint it to give it some “new life” I decided to have a radical change of direction. Paint is so last month, environmentally unfriendly (even when it isn’t) and smells too good to be true.

No, I have decided upon my new raw material for decorating. The cereal box. What? I hear you say “a fucking cereal box, are you joking?”. Well I can assure you I am not. Using cereal boxes represents a paradigm shift in interior design. It is the ultimate fusion of reusing materials and displaying branded wonderment. A wall covered with boxes from Frosties,  Sugar Puffs, Lucky Charms, Wheatabix et al is certainly something I look forward to waking up to in the morning.

The morning. When one wakes up and consumes breakfast as I am sure you all did this morning (I had a cup of coffee with lots of milk, an apple and some special K knockoff from ASDA). I can think of nothing which provides as much inspiration to eat breakfast which is of course the most important meal of the day.

My wall shall begin tomorrow with a mini-box of coco-pops ready for consumption and sticking up on the wall. As the days, weeks and months go on I hope that my room will have a delicious new wall which certainly is more fun than the boring one I am looking at now.

Wowweeee. 23 today! As a tribute to myself I am posting up a bloody good song that is funnily enough called “23″. Storming track. I hope I get lots of nice, expensive presents from the paying public.

 

 

Finally all grown up now!

What has brought on this sudden streak of self evaluation? A story is behind this…..

Many moons ago I was watching one of my all time favourite TV shows; Freaks and Geeks. In the very final episode some of the characters play Dungeons and Dragons and they made it look like a whole lot of fun. It gave me an idea, I WOULD PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS TOO!

So here I am. Having spent some coin on the rulebooks and a starter set I am now going to embark upon my own personal journey as a hero. I need to name my characters so I have been looking towards history for names who represent all that is great and good about the world. I have decided to name my characters after famous economists. Keynes the Destroyer, Marx the Brave, Von Hayek the mighty and the like. I won’t reveal them all incase someone is reading this and wants to steal my amazing inventive names.

Anyway so I plan to play, and to win. Even though you technically cannot “win” other than completing the adventure it still must be possible especially if you know as much about the world as a Keynes or a Marshall.

Once I have won I plan to design my own campaign based upon the new series of the cartoon Thundercats. Once I am finished it will be published in full on here.  I hope you are as excited about it as I am.

For the 3rd time in almost as many posts I get to post one of my good old “I’m back” posts. Do I mean it this time? Who the hell knows as I sure don’t.

I’m sure somewhere on here I have written before about how I am bone idle to the extreme which impacts upon my ability to be productive when it comes to writing anything of substance – as evidenced at this precise moment. Something will be written soon I guess. Today? Yes, clearly because of this post RIGHT HERE. Tomorrow? Less certain though I would like to think so. The day after? Now don’t be crazy, I cannot promise anything, even to myself.

Time to get out of bed and face the world. I might even go to the gym today and after that maybe ten-pin-bowling. Want to come along?

Well, well, well….. About six weeks ago I posted an “I’m back” post and promptly did the complete opposite. I am now back for another crack at the whip with the express hope of getting back into the swing of writing once more.

The break I have taken is typical – it is down to laziness as opposed to a lack of inspiration. The world has been quite the mindfuck since I last wrote anything and hopefully my return to the literary world of kings will restore balance to the galaxy. I have a few articles in the draft stages ready for posting one of which will be a review of the 2010/2011 season, another telling stories of my new home which I like to call the gym. Inbetween stories of my real life will be tales of yore, wonder and woe encompassing the first chapter of my sci-fi novel and an assortment of poetry, short stories and single act off-off-off Broadway plays.

A beautiful bottle of red wine awaits me for my breakfast so now I must go and face the day, safe in the knowledge that my writing will more than meets the eye.

When he discovered that I was serialising his diary on my website Kevin attempted to come to my house to beat me up. Unfortunately for him, he was refused entry by the Border Police. I would have punched him up the bracket.

25th March 2003

School again, what a monotonous chore it has already become once more. I seriously cannot see the point in why I even go anymore or what the point of almost is these days. The only good thing about today was the pastrami sandwich I brought with me to school, it was tasty. Everything about the rest of my day wasn’t.

A kid called Jerry Thomas came and chatted to me today, never really spoken to him before but we have a few classes together and he seems like a nice guy. Shot the shit about GTA 3 which he has (and I want) and he said I can go round and give it a go sometime – I suppose I might as well as home right now is unbearable. I got back at 4pm to find Mom passed out drunk on the sofa and Dad off god knows where. The family is falling apart before my eyes and there is nothing I can do to change that, they don’t care about me they just want to wash away their grief and anguish with booze.

I’m off to go pick up some weed later, Jerry hooked me up with his guy so I will have a smoke later on to relax, really need to be able to relax as there is no peace and quiet anywhere right now least of all home. I wish I could move out and go somewhere else. What are my options?

My day yesterday was literally the most incredible of my life! I woke up especially early (6:30am for those of you wondering!) and decided that today I was going to do something extraordinary. Not knowing what it was I could do yet I set off for town in the hopes of inspiration, arriving at 20 past 7 in the morning I got myself a coffee (milk no sugar) and watched for an hour as people got off the buses and headed to work. That is when I knew how to spend my day

I would ride the bus. Not just once. Not for a moment. Not for fun. But. For a day! A whole day 9-5 on the sameeee bus!

I jumped onto the 216 and whacked on Edgar Winter Group “Free Ride” and was away. At the end of the line the driver asked me if I wanted to get the bus now, I said “No bro it’s cool”. Miffed he retired to set off on the return journey, at the end again asking me the same question. I once again said I was fine. This time he told me to “get off the fucking bus”. Having caught a whiff of his foul breath I lept from the 216 onto an adjacent 231.

Now my day was carrying on whilst on another bus I cranked on War’s “Why can’t we be friends?” and carried on with my adventure. Reading the local paper cover to cover was exciting as was finally cracking that killer sudoku after an hour of toil. By the time the bus had done a loop I had decided that since my office workers were having lunch then so should I. I went to the food hall at Selfridges and got myself a Scorpion lollypop, some marshmallow fluff and then grabbed a packet of digestive biscuits and a 2 litre bottle of diet coke at Co-op. Back onto the bus I went stuffing my mouth with tasty food to jealous looks from the plebs on my bus. I was on a number 42 by the way this time.

After a lap on that bus I was bored and wanted some excitement so I decided to head off home but instead of taking the bus I would jog home. 25 minutes later I was home and straight into the shower, not fully clothed thankfully, to wash the day away from me.

I didn’t stay on the same bus all day, nor did I accomplish very much at all but I did have quite a fun day really. Best ever? Probably not I guess I am guilty of biging it up a bit too much. For that I am very sorry.

The motto for Pokemon is “Gotta catch em all” which is something I believe should be hijacked by the police force of the United Kingdom. My local force has no obvious motto that I could find yet Greater Manchester is full of crime. It is obvious to me that the GMP are not instilling the fear they need to into the local crooks and a new motto would work wonders.

Think about it – “Gotta catch em all”. It implies that no crime will be ignored, that the perpetrators will be chased down, cuffed and thrown away to rot in jail. If I were a criminal I would be scared of a Police force who truly wanted to catch each and every criminal that was out there. [Disclaimer: GMP probably do want to catch every criminal, I'm just hypothesising]

Just place yourself into the mind of a scumbag criminal. You have just stolen a few bottles of cider to drink in the local park, outrunning the shopkeeper who caught you. As you are running away you go past a billboard with “Gotta catch em all: The police” on it. I know I would be very scared of that. Even though I had only stolen £7 worth of goods that billboard tells me that the police will be hunting me down like I am a bank robber. FUCK! Better go return that cider and pay for it instead, hopefully the shopkeeper will see the funny side of my “joke”!

The simple scenario above illustrates my point that when faced with the “Gotta catch em all” motto criminals would be too scared to commit crimes because they would be forever looking over their shoulders, waiting for a collaring from the long arm of the law. I know I could sleep easy at night knowing that every criminal out there was sleeping with one eye open, waiting for the police to smash their door in to recover the Razzle they stole from the newsagents and to smash up some furniture for good measure too!

David Cameron, you may be a massive prick and well out of touch with us all, but Pokemon is the top selling game in the UK right now. So stop eyeing up Nick Clegg’s fit wife and get Nintendo on the phone and adopt “Gotta catch em all” as the motto for all of the police forces in the UK. I would be thankful and so would the children. Associating the police with the favourite computer game can only build bridges between the nations youth and the police.

After my hiatus my writing can now resume at full pace. All went well fortunately in America and I am now back home and getting on with things – I will write a little about my trip in the near future as there is no doubt some tales to tell and some complaining to do!

However before any of that can be written about the day is Sunday and there is a football match to go to. Results yesterday were rather fantastic, particularly the Spurs result and a win today will really put us in the driving seat to finish in the top four. Looking at the respective fixture lists I also fancy us to pick up more points than Spurs do before the end of the season thereby assuring that we finish fourth, I hope I don’t have to eat my words!

The match is a must win and real breathing space needs to be put between ourselves and Spurs, with our superior goal difference also being worth a point it is vital the three points are secured. Adam Johnson coming back to fitness is a huge plus as we have really missed him going forward having looked rather impotent at times which is a big concern considering the talent we have going forward. His return should hopefully resolve that along with a small break for Carlos which will hopefully allow him to get back to his best after a slack few weeks.

Much needs to be done today so I will leave it short and at that, but I am back and so is this website, daily updates baby!